(Cleaning Up The Old Blogs is a series of posts that are part of an effort to condense my collection of old blog posts, from three other separate blogs, into one place, keeping only my favorite posts. These are the original posts, with very few minor (mostly grammar, punctuation, clarity) changes. This is a post, from my old WordPress blog, Phases of the Noon. Original publication date: March 30, 2010.)
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“Love is not finding the right person — it’s being the right person.”
I don’t remember where I heard that quote, but it required me to immediately write it on a scrap of paper. For some reason, I did not write down who said it, which is unusual for me. I have this irrational fear that I’m going to quote something and not be able to attribute it to the right source, and then I’m going to be sued for everything I’ve got. Which, considering I’ve not got much, might not be as bad as it seems. (This is where I insert a paraphrase of the old Henny Youngman line, “Take my mother, please.” But, that’s just not nice, so I won’t)
After ten-and-a-half years together, I’ve certainly found the right person. Everyday I consider myself lucky to have found someone so right. However, I do struggle with the being the right person part (as any good neurotic would). I look at myself and wonder how I could possibly be the right person. My flaws are many.
- selfish (yes, it is here twice)
- a know-it-all
- a procrastinator
- not the World’s Best housekeeper
- a serious snorer (though, that’s only really developed in the last few years)
- a drooler
- a 44-year old unemployed man, who lives with his mom.
- etc, etc, etc
And, those are just the one’s that I can list without having to think for more than a microsecond.
“Well, how about you work on changing those things,” I hear you saying to me.
To which I respond: “Duh! Hello?! See number 13!”
Believe me, I know that there are things I need to work on. Changing is not easy. But, I try. And, I try to apologize everytime I’m bossy, demanding, or any of the other things. I’m generally aware of when I am being one of those things.
So, why does he think I’m the right person (I’m guessing he thinks this, since he’s been around for ten-and-a-half years)? Is it important for me to know why? Or should I just be glad that he’s here?
Without sounding like I’m trying to eschew any kind of responsibility for the things I am, maybe, just maybe, it’s possible that we never can be the right person. Perhaps we just are who we are, and are loved for who we are. We try to change what we can, and be aware of what needs changing (while keeping in mind that we must change for our own reason, not because someone else thinks we should.) I don’t know. I’m not an expert.
I’m just a guy who tries, and doesn’t always succeed.
I’ll just say a big Thank You everyday that he thinks I’m the right person.
And, I need to tell myself that being the right person isn’t the same as being the best person. For which of us is a Best Person?